21 and Invincible

Okay, so I am terrible at blogging. I was all psyched about my monthly series, hoping it would help me be more disciplined at creating something with my time. However, it slowly faded out until I completely forgot about it (much like all previous attempts to blog or journal). I'm neither surprised nor disappointed in myself, mainly because I always knew it would happen. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Well, we may never know.

It has been almost four months since I last did an entry and considering I turn 21 tomorrow I thought this might be the perfect time for a catch up entry. So much has happened since I started this blog that I almost don't feel like the same person-and maybe in some ways, I'm not. I suppose that my blog faded out because, again, much like previous failed attempts any type of blog or journal, I realized that I'd much rather be experiencing life then writing about it. I am in no way trying to put down people who journal or blog frequently. I love reading about what people think and I know that sometimes a computer screen or a page with all of your thoughts scribbled on it can be much more helpful than a person. I find it hard because my brain often is moving way to fast and jumps around way to much to write something that another person could actually understand.

Its like my thoughts are each on their own little post-it and my brain is a completely covered post-it mosaic.

Twelve months ago my life was completely different. I was spending a summer under the sun with my boyfriend at the time. Neither of us worked that summer and so you can imagine how wonderful it was to be young and in love with nothing to do except be young and in love. It may sound cheesy, but it was the situation. Being able to hang out and just be a part of an awe-inspiring love is a magnificent gift from God.

Life continued on, school came back around and before I knew it, six months had passed and I was planning a 2-year anniversary date. Its amazing to think that just six-seven months ago I was ready and waiting for a proposal. We had talked about marriage so much, that it was like we were already engaged. I was ready to move on and be a "real adult", ready to commit myself to a shared life with someone who, above all else, could always make me laugh. We enjoyed our anniversary and Christmas came and went. Unfortunately, so did the laughter. And then the conversations. And then the closeness. And the love.

They say you never forget your first love. I used to think that meant that your first love always held part of your heart captive. That no matter what, all else would be measured against it. I am realizing how true and untrue such a statement can be. You never forget your first love simply because that person and the relationship you shared are how you learned about love and how to love. However, I don't believe a first love holds part of your heart captive, nor do I believe first love has to become a measuring stick.

I have gone through the healing process, one I'd never thought I would have to go through and I have come out the other end happier and stronger. I feel like my whole idea of love has been flip-flopped. I used to think that you found the one and the rest was cake. Sure there would be bad times, but a dash of sacrifice here, a pinch of forgiveness there and presto!--You've got love a la carte. I now see that these are true, but love is so much more than that. I've learned that more than anything else, love is about making someone feel safe and feel as though they are unconditionally loved by you-no strings. There's a lot more to it than that, but those come before anything else.

I wish I was eloquent enough to get all of my thoughts down, but that would take far too much time and I'd have to sift through way too many sticky notes to be able to convey the depth and breadth of all I have learned and am learning. I just want to say goodbye to 20. It was a good year full of love, hurt, healing, change and growth. And now I embrace 21 and all that it has to offer. God has blessed me so much by surrounding me with people who do a great job of making me feel like I am beautiful and loved. I feel as though I have broken free from so many chains this past year and can now move on ahead with new eyes to see the world with a newly refurbished heart to love with.

21 and Invincible.

March - Find a Passion or Hobby

Okay, so I have been seriously lacking on the blog updates...

My Better Yourself 2010 topic for this month is find a passion/hobby. I think this is a great topic for March because we are finally getting settled into the year--its really starting to feel like 2010!

Everyone needs something to keep them sane. So this month I want to focus on finding what really makes you happy. It may seem like you don't have time for a hobby, but trust me, you do. When you take a second to examine how you use your time, you'll realize that you waste quite a bit of time. So the goal here is to take that time and turn it in to something constructive. Notice how I used the word "constructive"--that is where the challenge comes in!

I know its already halfway through this month, but some time is better than no time.

Honestly, this is probably the easiest month! You know what you love, so make time for it and do it :)

I'm in the process of finding some of mine, so I'll follow up soon...ish!

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”--Howard Thurman

Love and peace,

Trin

February Part 2

So years ago I wrote about making new friends...okay, it was only 3 weeks ago, but it feels like longer. How have you been doing at making new friends? In my own experience, I am doing pretty well. I have been talking to people I normally wouldn't and have been trying to establish better relationships with the people I live with and the people I go to class with. I must point out that it is a slow process and it takes energy and investment to establish friendships, but it is so worth it!

Now that we all have had some time to try to make more new friends, I now want to spend these last days of the month focusing on keeping our old friends. Many times we get so busy and caught up in our own lives that we take the people around us for granted. Let's be honest, we take them REALLY for granted. The emails, texts, phones messages saying "Let's do lunch, we need to catch up!" are easily forgotten or returned with empty responses like, "Yes we do! Maybe nest week?" But next week comes and goes and before we know it, its weeks or even months later and we still haven't caught up.

How depressing is that?

We need to not only be intentional with our new friends, but also with our existing relationships because one of the key factors in relationships is shared time and experiences. Most of us would be very adamant about how blessed we are with great family and friends, but do our time and actions reflect that belief? Usually not. The first that you can do to be proactive about sustaining current friendships is to make serious plans. Do not throw around empty promises. When someone says to you, "let's catch up" (or when you say it to someone else) set up a meeting right then. If you don't, chances are it won't happen!

You can also make time for shared hobbies. If you like playing guitar, going to coffee shops, or love tennis find the friends that love to do those same things and do them together. Or, if you're a student, chances are you spend a lot of time doing homework--so find a study group! I know these seem sort of obvious, but some times we overlook the simple ways to keep in touch.

If you have friends who don't happen to be geographically convenient, you can still keep in touch through phone calls, emails or encouraging notes/letters. That's right, I said letters (its that thing where you have a piece of paper and pen and take the time to write to someone) Its a lost art, but you can really make someone's day by handwriting something. Plus, who doesn't love to get mail? :)

If none of these work for you, than find your own way to build on and deepen existing relationships in your life. We are constantly being shaped and molded by those we choose to surround ourselves with, so make sure you are taking the time and putting in the effort to surround yourself with wonderful people and invest your time in true friendships.

Love and peace,

Trin

February - Make New Friends and Keep the Old

For the first 19 year of my life, I didn't have to make friends. The people I graduated high school with were the same people I sat next to in my Kindergarten class-I grew up in that kind of town and I never moved. When I went off to college, I was lucky enough to have three of my best friends there with me. Then after my first year, I transferred to a different school. For the first time in my life, I actually had to try to make friends.

We are relational beings-its woven into our DNA. So this month, I want to focus on forming new relationships while trying hard to improve on existing ones. To begin, we'll work on only the first part. The first thing I think can be done is simple-make new friends. Okay, so maybe its not that simple. But I think it can be. Just like last month, I think this month will require a fair amount of comfort zone demolition--especially for those who aren't social butterflies.

The one thing you MUST do to make new friends is talk to people. You can't expect to build any type of new relationship without saying a peep. Now I know that there are many excuses for not talking to people-I was in a rush, I don't have anything to say, its awkward...the list goes on. Well, get over it. Talking to people should be one of the easiest things we can do since, gasp, we are all just people. So that is my first piece of advice for building a new relationship-talk to someone.

Okay, now what do you say? For starters, "hello" can come on very handy. Asking people generic questions about how they have been or what they have been up to can open many doors to other subjects too. Believe it or not, people love themselves...quite a bit. So, when you really feel like you have nothing else to say ask a question that'll require the person to talk more about themselves. Like "what's your major?" or "why did you brought you to this company?".

When trying to make a new friend, its best to start with people you see on a more regular basis. Trying to make friends with "that one guy who worked at that grocery store" doesn't give you the best odds. There are people around us everyday that go overlooked. Whether its someone we see all of the time at work or someone who is in one of our classes, the regulars give common ground to work with. From there, be frequent and consistent in engaging with them (but its also important to not be a creeper). Within the confines of a work or school environment, it should become comfortable and easy to talk to him or her. When this happens, its time to branch out and try to spend time with that person outside of the comfortable environment. Scary, I know, but the common thread among any friends is made mostly of shared experiences.

Maybe you think that you have enough friends. Honestly, though, there is no such thing. The beauty of humanity is that each person is completely unique and unlike any other you've ever met. Which also means that YOU are completely different from anyone that others have met. That's a good feeling. Each person you meet, engage with, learn about and eventually befriend will be able to offer you a perspective you'll never find in any of the other 6 billion people. It may seem like I am exaggerating, but its because I want you to understand the magnitude of what I mean. The fact that people are unrepeatable means that there is an endless amount of possibility all around us. Your current friends can only offer you so much-there is more treasure to be found in others!

People are fantastic and you should want to meet them. You should be excited to talk to acquaintances strangers. You should try hard to learn about people and hope that you get to take a sliver of each person with you so that you might be able to grow and deepen your understanding of this world. Our personal views and experiences of this life are extremely (extremely!) limited, which should stir in us a desire to see, as best as we can, through the eyes of others.

For the beginning of February, make a new friend. Maybe there is a person you've always wanted to talk to, but never did. Maybe you happen to always see the same person on your lunch break, who knows. The point is that you should put in the effort to try. Again, this is supposed to be a personal thing for anyone who so happens to attempt. So personalize it to your situation. But if you honestly try and put in the time throughout the month, you should have a pretty good new friend by the end of the month.

For those who are skeptical (or just have a bad attitude!): Galileo Galilei once said "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him". Apply this to all who you meet and use the open-mind you have from January to expand your friend base :)

Peace and love,

trin

Better Yourself - January Wrap Up

With all of these posts concerning my NY trip, it may seem as though my "Better Yourself" series has been lost...this is not the case! I have been working toward a more open mind every single day and I hope you have too.

With January at a close, I feel very accomplished. As I look back, I realize that you really do have to try to be open-minded. We let ourselves be shaped and molded into the person we are at this very moment. Open-mindedness is counterintuitive because we make our lives about a journey of self-discovery. And when we feel like we have found ourselves, that's it--we are the person we want to be. By nature, we form habits, take up hobbies, act and react all within the frame of what is "typical" behavior for "me".

But what can be learned from this open-mind experience is that we are never us...sounds ridiculous, huh? What I mean is that that only thing that binds us to we "are" is the boundaries we put on ourselves. We are amazing creatures with unlimited capacity for personality. Psychologically, physically, emotionally and spiritually we are always adapting and growing. It may sounds trite, but you can be whoever you want to be. I know you've heard that a lot, but I repeat it because I am pretty sure you don't believe it. The only thing you need in order to be able to change is the belief that you can.

The beauty of life is in our choices. So, if you want to try something or do something--do it!! No one besides yourself gets to decide who you are. Maybe somethings feel out of character for you, but its important to realize that those limitations are imposed upon us, not something we are born with--and that makes all of the difference. Don't let the others put borders around you and, more importantly, get rid of the limits you have set on yourself because I bet if you really sat down and thought about it, you would realize that your biggest bully is you.

If anyone has chosen to embark on this experiment with me, I am very glad to have you--everything is better when you are in good company. Also, if anyone has taken any of my suggestions (no matter which one, big or small, any variation) I would love to hear about your experience. Or if you haven't tried anything, but have any comments, ponderings or problems with anything I have said, I would also love to hear any of that. Throw it all at me because I am really trying to start something here and get people involved. You don't have to comment publicly on my blog or anything, you can email me at trinitymatthews@gmail.com. Or, if you know me or live nearby and would like to meet up for coffee or lunch, etc, I would also love that!! :)

One more thing!! My February post- Make New Friends, But Keep the Old- will be up tomorrow. Check it out and join me in the Better Yourself 2010 experiment. Tell your friends!!

Okay, enough desperate plugs :)

Peace and Love,

Trin

NYC Trip Wrap Up 1/18/10-1/20/10 (continued)

I can wrap up my trip in one simple statement: I love NYC. I think it is one of the greatest cities in the world!

NYC Trip Wrap Up 1/18/10-1/20/10

1/18/10 - What I Did:
Walked around NYU
Chinatown
Brooklyn Bridge
Financial District
Statue of Liberty
Bodies Exhibition
World Trade Center Site

1/19/10 - What I Did:
Natural History Museum
Grand Central Station
Bryant Park
Shopping!

1/20/10
My final journal entry...

Sunday 1/17/10

What I Did:
Slept in!
Explored the Village
FRIENDS apartment
Groceries at TJ’s
Dinner and FRIENDS Scene It


It should be noted that my dream concerning Billy Crystal might be the weirdest dream I have ever had. Let it also be said that shortly after my dream, I saw an interview with Billy Crystal on a late night show and don’t blame my dream self for any of my dream self’s actions—the man’s got some charm.

Also, I love Trader Joes.

Saturday 1/16/10

What I Did:
Central Park
Central Park Zoo
5th Avenue
F.A.O. Schwartz
The Met
The Guggenheim
Top of the Empire State Building
Drinks and Dessert at Olana
Movie – It’s Complicated


This entry talks about Saturday 1/16/10 (it only says 1/17/10 because it was written at 3:45 am, so technically it was 1/17…)

I had a great Saturday though. Central Park was wonderful and I can only imagine what it would be like to see it during the spring when it is all blossoming, or in the fall when the leaves are all changing. When I was walking through the park, a man who was walking his dog (a pit bull) checked me out and said “Nice” in that long, drawn out, creepy way. I honestly felt like I was in a sitcom or movie of some sort. I wonder what guys like that think is going to happen. “Maybe if I shoot a creepy sort of compliment her way, she’ll swoon or fall instantly in love with me…” Hmm…

The Central Park Zoo was extremely disappointing because it was small and the penguin exhibit was closed. However, I did get to smash a penny—instead of Lincoln, it now has a toucan on it! (Note to anyone who might ever think about giving me a souvenir—I adore smashed pennies)

Fifth Avenue shopping was great. They had real men dressed as toy soldiers standing outside F.A.O. Schwartz. I also got to see the big piano (you know, the one Tom Hanks plays chopsticks on in the movie Big…if you haven’t seen the movie, you need to go out and rent it right now) However, I didn’t get to play anything on it because of some stupid kids ;) I’m kidding, kids aren’t stupid, they just have a tendency to hog the toys…

The Met was HUGE and beautiful. If you have ever been to the Getty Museum in Los Angeles, (which is fantastic) the Met is like that, but multiplied by 17. I forgot to grab a map on my way in and got lost. When I finally got a map, I still got lost, only for not as long as the first time. You could spend a whole day in each wing, if that. It was amazing to be in the presence of such historical sculptures, tombs, carvings and paintings by artists like Raphael, Cezanne, Van Gogh, Monet, Manet, etc. Not to mention the photograph section was great too.

Unfortunately, only two small floors of the Guggenheim were available since they were setting up for a new installation. It was still cool to see it in person though! The top of the Empire State Building was just as breathtaking as the view from the top of the Rock. I did the Rock during the day, which was awesome because in the light you can see each little building—it really highlights just how much is squeezed into the city. I did the Empire State at night though, which was a whole different type of beautiful because of all of the lights. At night, the city is just one big ocean of lights for as far as the eye can see! It was amazing to see the city both ways ☺

For drinks and dessert we went to Olana, which is where Katie’s sister Emily works. Then, after she got off we went to see the movie It’s Complicated (the one with Alec Baldwin, Meryl Streep and Steve Martin) It was pretty funny—we did quite a bit of laughing. It was one of the longest days of my trip, but also one of the best. The city has so much to offer!

Pictures from TH 1/14/10

MoMA Burton Exhibit--They didn't let us take any pictures of the actual exhibit, although I did get a pic of some of Mr. Burton's drawings on the classified section of a newspaper from like 1991 or something...


Starry Night--its the first famous painting I ever remember learning about :)

Andy Warhol--I don't think it needs any explanation. If you don't know, google him.








Radio City Stage--the stage is actually made of steel, which turns out to be incredibly painful for performers, so they have acupuncturists, massage therapists and spa jacuzzis for the performers.

Radio City bathroom--if you stand the right way it looks like a whole line of Rockettes, but they are all you!! Or as Chandler would say, "its like you're peeing with the Rockettes"

Friday--1/15/10 (Continued)

The Paley Center was cooler than I expected. Like I said, it was a digital library of Radio and T.V. events. I wasn't quite sure what to watch, so I looked through what they had highlighted and found the news coverage of the Challenger explosion--which was incredible (in a bad, but amazing way of course).

I had never seen the footage before and I cannot imagine what it would have been like to watch it first hand. Well, actually, I can imagine since I saw the footage of 9/11 first hand. But what I mean is that, if you have seen the footage, it literally just explodes. There was no warning, no signals--it just bursts and then disintegrates into a ball of billowing smoke. It was breathtaking (again, of course, in a bad way).

The city is one of the best in the world. There is always something to do, always people to meet and, my favorite, always food to eat! The world really is a beautiful amazing place, where every nook and cranny has something to offer. Even within our own country, we have everything-beaches, mountains, deserts, forests, tropics, Alaska.

I think of how much there is to see in this world and I am baffled. I feel like one of the biggest disservices to ourselves that can be committed is to not travel. To stay where you are in your bubble and get too comfortable. There are so many people who are wonderful and different to be met. So many awe-inspiring places to be seen. So much history to be learned from on so much soil.

To not open your mind to this wonderful world, to not venture outside of your comfort zone to learn from others, to not embrace each culture God has grown--that is the ghastliest of crimes.

Friday--1/15/2010

Well, I didn't have an entry for 1/14, but I covered what I did in my 1/15 entry.

1/14 What I Did:
MoMA
Radio City Music Hall Tour
NBC Studios Tour
Paley Center for Radio and T.V.

1/15 What I Did:
Lunch at Benjamin's Steakhouse
Shopping Day (Times Square, Manhattan Mall, Obscura)

I must comment again on how cool the MoMA Tim Burton exhibit was. Because he has made so many successful films based on his art, you could really see the exhibit come to life in connection with his films. Not only did they have doodles and drawings, etc. But they also had sculptures Mr. Burton did as well as pieces actually used in his films (i.e. a cape the headless horseman wore in Sleepy Hollow) I think Tim Burton personifies the artist/filmmaker if this day and age.

Radio City Music Hall was also great. Did you know that they only have about 15-20 events a year because of how much time it takes to put up and take down sets. For some reason, I always believed it was a lot busier than that. Did you also know that everything in the theatre is original? They have never renovated, they have only ever cleaned it. So the walls and carpets, etc. is all what has been there since the beginning. Amazing. I could go on and on about all that I learned, but I won't :)

Seeing the SNL set at NBC studios was really cool too. Especially since we got to see Sigourney Weaver practicing for the upcoming episode she was hosting. Well, we got to see her from above and behind some glass...it was much like being at the zoo.

Wednesday Pictures

Here are some pictures of the activities I did on Wednesday. Blogger only lets me have 5 images for each post and since I have to use those for my journal entries, the pics will have to come separately!

The first is a picture from the top of Rockefeller Center. There's a reflection because there was glass to keep us from plummeting 80 something stories to our deaths. On the left hand side of the picture is Central Park.

Then there is me with Lucy and Alby at the Wax Museum-we had a good time.

Johnny Depp and Leonardo Di Caprio were the first two I saw when I walked in. It was actually pretty jarring, but cool since I have met Johnny Depp in person before. His wax duplicate was spot on.

The last is one of the exhibit tables from the Da Vinci exhibition. Da Vinci was a pretty amazing dude. Like Rockefeller, he had his stuff together!

Wednesday--1/13/10

What I Did:
SoHo
Rockefeller Center
Wax Museum
Da Vinci Exhibit

I realize now that I never actually clarified why the friend was relevant. Well, because he laughed at me when I gasped about the landing. I would have laughed at me too.

I honestly loved the city from the moment I set foot in it. And going to the top of the Rock on the first day only assured me of my love. The view was spectacular. City as far as the eye could see. Now that is definitely not for some people, but its for me. It was like it was all just sitting there waiting for me.

Wednesday--1/13/10 (Continued)

The driver's in NY are crazy, but not bad drivers. It doesn't seem like that is possible, but it is. Here in CA we have some pretty awful drivers. In NY they all seem to know what they're doing-they're just crazy about it. Being in a taxi was like being on a roller-coaster or something.